Why need-oriented parenting after all?

Since 2012 there is a huge controversy regarding Attachment Parenting (AP) in the English speaking part of the world which was caused by a cover picture on Time magazine that showed a Mom breastfeeding her almost 4-year-old child.

But what is AP after all and why would anybody breastfeed a 4-year-old?

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AP – or as we call it “need-oriented parenting” – is a parenting style that focuses a lot on meeting a child’s needs and being empathetic and responsive in order to establish a strong mother-child-bond. This bond between mother and child – also called “attachment” – is crucial for a child’s healthy personal development.

Therefore many parents who practice AP choose (longterm) breastfeeding, babywearing, co-sleeping, cloth diapers or elimination communication, homeschooling or even unschooling, organic home-made food and gentle discipline. AP is a highly communicative parenting approach.

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In the US AP is widely regarded as a mainly Christian parenting style, whereas Europeans tend to assume AP to be a secular parenting approach. Feminists often criticize AP as “New Momism” which promotes role models that should be overcome by now – but maybe a child’s needs and his personal development should be more important than social ideologies…

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To us as parents the main reason for bringing our children up in an AP way of life is this:

Certainly sons are a gift from the Lord,
    the fruit of the womb, a reward.

~ Psalms 127:3

Our children are a gift and a blessing from God – so we should treat them as the gift they are. How would you treat a gift that is very precious to you? We decided we wanted our kids to grow up in a family that grants them love, respect, trust, emotional security, warmth, protection, happiness and the freedom to just be who they are.

That’s why we chose this parenting style.

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5 thoughts on “Why need-oriented parenting after all?

  1. I love this. I cloth diaper, I still wear my almost 2 year old and sometimes my 5 year old. I love them with the fierceness of the sun and the gentleness of the moon and I wouldn’t have it any other way. No matter the label 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Amen, amen, amen. I think it is crazy that we’ve gotten to the point where parenting children with respect and love throughout their formative years has become a “parenting trend”. I have found that when I seek out answers to my biggest parenting struggles and concerns through prayer and the parameters of my faith, I have been always led back to this style of parenting, which emphasizes the beauty of raising our kids according to the way God created us, biologically, emotionally and spiritually. Thank you for sharing your perspective!

    Like

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