Need-oriented parenting – a Catholic Approach

and said, “Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.

~ Matthew 18:3

There is a lot you can read about need-oriented or Attachment Parenting in the media or on the internet – but one question you will hardly find to be answered:

Is there any Catholic Approach to those need-oriented ideas?

A few websites do offer a Catholic Attachment Parenting Approach, e.g. the Catholic Attachment Parenting Corner, Intentional Catholic Parenting or Simply Charlotte Mason. Mostly Attachment Parenting is a secular philosophy of education, though.

How so?


Attachment Parenting is all about freedom, need-orientation, respect and about being loving, caring and understanding with each other as a family. Somehow, these ideas seem to be more popular in secular circles – maybe because they can be considered very liberal.

But let’s see, does Attachment Parenting require a secular and/or liberal worldview?

Not really. There is nothing wrong with living social-conservative Catholic values – it’s just an unconventional Approach: You don’t teach your values by indoctrination, you simply live by them. So you’re creating kind of an observational learning experience for your child.

Besides, freedom, need-orientation, respect and being loving, caring and understanding with each other are Catholic values, too, right?

Let’s talk about the Bible verse quoted above: Jesus tells us we should become like children in order to enter the kingdom of heaven. He truly appreciates children! So how could we not treat children according to those beautiful Attachment Parenting ideas as we strive for loving our children just as much as Jesus does?


Book writing journal #6

We’re done!

Finally we’re done! On November 11th we published our first book – in German, however… We’re planning on publishing the English translation in 2016, though. Originally we hoped to be able to publish both the German and the English version at the same time, but God obviously had other plans.


Funny enough on November 11th not only our first book got published – our second child was born just at the same time!

Those of you who speak German please visit our German website to get more information about our book.

Book writing journal #5


Right now we’re at the point where we already have all the texts that we want to have for our book. Isn’t that amazing?

It sure is. We’re very excited.

Does that mean we’re almost done?

That’s a no!


Sometimes we feel now comes that part in our work that is even more demanding. We have to revise every single text, make every single text sound great AND make every single part of every single text of the book really deliver our message. Plus we have to make sure every endnote and every reference is correct.

And no, that’s not all: We also have to make plans concerning layout, publishing, marketing, etc.

Do we sound like we’re complaining?

We hope not, because we’re not. Writing a book is a great experience and an adventure. And loads of fun. It’s exhausting, too, but that’s just part of the process and that’s fine.

Please keep praying for us!

Book writing journal #4

Less is more?

Our book writing project is going really well after all. We have tons of ideas and we’re writing a lot plus we already have a good structure.

BUT how many pages do we need to write in order to create a book that is worth reading?

That is the point we’re struggling with right now. Somehow we feel we haven’t written enough yet. However, we want to write a book that is focused and activity-oriented and that doesn’t necessarily calls for a lot of pages. Plus we fear that it could get out of focus if we write too much. But then we think we want to provide our readers with a lot of good and usable information and experiences.

So what do we do now?


Please share your thoughts with us and let us now how you feel about that question! And aside from that we could use some prayers about that.

Book writing journal #3

The lessons we have to learn

Sometimes everything comes different than originally anticipated, sometimes the concepts we have just don’t work for our projects. We are facing multiple situations like that right now with our book writing project.

In our last book writing journal we shared our need to spice up our texts because they seem fairly dull to us. However, it turns out that this is just not as easy as we thought. Plus we maybe have to face the fact that our book is going to be a more informative one and maybe less personal than we hoped in the first place.


Writing a book is a great experience and an adventure, but it is also a huge challenge! Sometimes we get so frustrated scared no one will ever read our book. Those are the times when we just need to give our fears to the Lord trusting him to lead us on our way telling us what he wants us to do.

Those are the times when we have to just stop, take a break and remember that we are writing this book for him eager to share his word and his plan for married couples.

Book writing journal #2

Spicing up informative texts

Our book writing project is making progress, we’ve already finished almost all informative texts! But now there’s a new challenge: How do we revise our texts?

Informative texts are good, they are – informative… But do you really like to read them? Or asked differently: Do you love to read them?

We actually don’t. And here’s the problem: We want our readers to love reading our book. So we’ve got to spice our texts up a little.


Maybe you can help us: What kind of texts would you love to read about NFP? What kind of testimony would inspire you in your own life?

Right now we’re trying to get more personal. Information about NFP is good – and crucial for a book about NFP – but a personal testimony about NFP makes it come alive. Our goal is to merge all the facts about NFP with our personal story.

Book writing journal #1

How do you write a book about NFP?

So we decided to write a book about NFP – but how can we accomplish that? How do you write a book anyway? And how do you write a book about NFP?

We figured out we had different possibilities, but none of them was what we were really looking for. We considered promoting NFP by demonizing birth control or by winning our readers for Church values. We also saw we could just introduce our readers to different NFP methods or combine all these different ways.

Or we could do something totally different. But what?


All in all we realized that all these approaches could easily lead to an arrogant and pretentious stance that we don’t want to be a part of. So we decided to take a different path and be more personal. We want our book to be a personal testimony of our journey to NFP. At the same time we sure want to share our opinions on Church values, biblical principles, different NFP methods and birth control. And we don’t want our book to be too autobiographic.

Our goal is to encourage our readers and to inspire them with information that is down-to-earth and hands-on. At the same time we hope to motivate our readers to ponder and contemplate Christian views on family, family planning, marriage, life – and sex. And of course NFP.

So be prepared for a personal testimony about NFP AND for encouraging and inspiring information about biblical and Church teachings on various subjects! And of course for more book writing journal articles in the future.